UK Unemployment rises

Youth unemployment in the UK has risen to ove4 rose to 1 million and is the the highest since records began.  The overall number of people out of work ( when measured as people revievig certain allowances)  rose by 3,000 to 1.6 million in November..

Thiws does not of couarse include all those people who are unemployed but bot receiveing allowances. It is thought that this will be a large number swelled by publc sector reducndancies.

CM

Bank Robber Holds up a bank that isnt there!

A man who tried to hold up a bank with a toy gun in May has been jailed and labelled as 'stupid' by German newspaper.

Position Closed

The man tried to hold up the branch in the northwestern town of Walchum, unfortunately for him it had been closed for a number of years so he had to switch to plan B and rob a woman who was passing by.

Following the trend in banking for closing down branches, the bank had moved several years before, with only cash machines left as an indication of its former role and the building had been converted into a physiotherapist' clinic. The 57-year old man, on finding there was no bank to rob turned his attention to passers-by and after initially demanding a ransom of10,000 euro (£8,600) for a woman he forced her to withdraw 400 euros which he took and fled in a stolen car.

He later abandoned the car in a bid to confuse his pursuers but in an  colossal error of judgement left the toy gun he had used in the robbery between the seats. Of course this  master criminal had not been wearing his gloves when handling this and his with his fingerprints were on it.

The court heard that the man had confessed to the crime and had previous convictions for 22 other offences and sentanced him to seven years in prison. The Bild newspaper branded the man "Germany's stupidest bank robber".

Cork Monkey suggests it may be time for a career change. 

Is Europe heading to the stars or to the dogs?

 All agree that increased integration will be the key to solving the crisis in the Eurozone area but while seeing the logic some are reluctant to take this step.

France and Germany will announce proposals on Monday intended to assure the future development of Europe. At the heart will be a new EU treaty that means increased financial integration. Is this the way forward or are member states shellshocked, punchdrunk and seeing stars.

 Restabilising Europe will be a long a difficult process with France and Germany working together to create a zone of stability.  This will need to be agreed by all 27 member states which only 17 of which use the Euro.  Germany is taking great pains to reassure those concerned that this is not a step on the road to a federalised super state and that the European Central Bank will remain independent.

But can they get agreement on this? Even among the Eurozoners there is discord. France rejecting the idea of fiscal union and in particular the idea that national budgets should be being approved in Brussels while Germany want France to do a lot more to end speculation about its capability to repay its large debt.

Outside the Eurozone the situation is at least as fraught. The UK and others are concerned about a two speed Europe where countries outside the Eurozone are marginalised in favour of those within however the Eurozoners are reluctant to have their monetary policy influenced by people who remain on the sidelines but feel the need to throw stones at those trying to fix the problem.

So will this go ahead, will 27 members vote in a fashion likely to effect positive change. Will the change stick - can Europe be mended without becoming a federated superstate. Who can say. But if they are going to do something they need to do it fast! CM

Transparency International cut ties to FIFA

Transparency international the corruption watchdog that was supporting Fifa after its numerous  corruption scandals, has walked away from football's governing body.

An official with Transparency International (TI) has said that this was becasue two of its key recommendations are being ignored.

TI stated that Fifa are paying an expert to oversee the reforms and feel that this amounts to a conflict of interest. Perhaps more tellingly this exper has said he would not re-examine past scandals. There is little logic to this decision unless he is acting under instruction.

The move is a blow to the credibility of Fifa's who obviously have no committment to reformation  process, which should be viewed as a own goal by the probably corrupt leadership and a personal failure of its President Sepp Blatter.

Fifa has declined to comment

CM

Clarkson is a pillock!

What a pillock! Clarkson does it again on TV's one show he said about the strikers

'Frankly, I'd have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean, how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed while the rest of us have to work for a living?

Lets put this into a little perspective

aside from the obvious disgrace with regard to having anyone shot ( this does happen to real people in real life Mr Clarkson).

This mans work - is mainly being nasty or stupid in print or on TV. Nice work if you can can it. Not everybody can get such an easy gig. He is a priviliged underachieving twat and should not forget it. If he dissapeared the world would be a slightly cleaner brighter place as there would be less nastiness about- if some of the people he is talking about dissapeared - people would die, things that need to happen would not happen and Clarkson would find himself without some of the thiings that make his life so sweet.

 Clarkson contributes nothing of use to the world - he is an extra, a spare part but some of the people he is talking about have dedicated their life to public service only to find Cameron, the British Prime Minister stealing the food from their mouths to fund his political aspirations

And here we get to it the nub. he is a chum of David Cameron and will benefit from the loss of public services (while complaining that the remainder cannot do the work of two no doubt). .

It is not the only area on which Clarkson has ventrured and oopinion. He thinks we pay too much fuel duty - why? beciause he uses a like to drive cars. He does not like the speed limit, why? becuase he wants to drive at them at high speed, he does not like caravans why? they take up space on his road getting in his way ...get the picture.

The people Clarkson rails against do not have a gilt edged pension as he suggests and include the poorest in the country and what they do have is being stolen from them so people like Clarkson can pay less tax. What he calls work is actually a privileged lifestyle and an unecessary job. I doubt that he could do a whole days proper work either in manual terms or in taking the responsibility for making tough decisions - that in doing x we cannot do y and living with the consequence of that decision proffessionally.

This man should not have access to public money and should get no more work from the BBC. We should stop watching him and reading him so he has to retire on his wealth. Perhaps the organisation that holds his money can collapse and his penision and savings dissapear so he has to return to the world of work, for that is the biggest insult.

This man thinks he works for a living.
CM

Striking for rights or damaging the economy - what are the UK public servants up to?

As the UK public sector workers strike we need to ask three questions - is this right, is the fair and will it work.

The plain truth is that something needs to be done - the UK must pull back from its spending commitments and this will involve fewer people being paid less. Politicians need to be honest about this and deal with the fallout of which these strikes are a part.

This current coalition governments position (informed by the conservative dogma rather than the liberals) on public services is that they should be provided by the private sector wherever possible with the government picking up those services that cannot be made profitable by private business. Much of the current strategy for dealing with the financial crisis appears to reflect this bias.

Successive governments have had a policy of paying public sector workers well below the market rate, but that did not matter. Up until say 10 years ago people entered the UK public sector as a vocation, to serve and the payoff beyond the joy of public service - A good pension. Thatcher and Blair changed this thinking - Thatcher believed that in the main public sector workers delivered little of value. She and governments since have used public sector recruitment to dig themselves out of negative unemployment figures and service particular communities with unemployment problems. These people may not be as committed to public service and there has been a rise in the sort of people who have a job in the public service because the could not hack it anywhere else. You have probably met some of these in your dealings with central or local government.

That is not the case with most people though. Many have given long and loyal service only to find their pension is being plundered to pay for the mistakes and the political aspirations of their political masters. They are being asked to pay for today's mistakes but when the current crisis is over the new devalued pension will give governments wriggle room to either deliver tax cuts or build up a war chest for high value projects.

So it is right that this strike go ahead - government have to listen to these people and should do so gracefully and perhaps have negotiations not agree to them as a tactic and do nothing. In addition these people while protecting their jobs are also protecting the quality and range of public services. Services Government would prefer not to deliver. For their pains they are painted as greedy lazy bureaucrats who are better of than the private sector, spoiling for a fight with politicians for the sake of conflict alone.

Is it fair? To be honest government, unions and the public would all rather not be here - however it is not fair of the politicians to feign care for the impact upon the public to mask that these strikes are inconvenient to their political objectives. It is not fair that the public will not get their public services today but it is difficult to see how to manage the strike in any other way ( if the public are not impacted government ministers have simply ignored the issue claiming that as the public do not care there is no issue). It is never fair is to have money stolen from you and this is what the raid on pensions and wages amounts to. It is understood that public servants have to play there part in the recovery but the government has given no commitment to look at this again when the economy is stronger.

Will this work? If the government had been straight - argued for cuts in the short term on the basis of reframing the deal when the outlook was better then this would have worked - public servants are better than politicians at running the country - they do it every day, even when the politicians attention is elsewhere. They not politicians have already made billions in savings to offset the countries debts by cutting back, reorganising or cancelling projects that are needed - but not approriatte now. If the government had been honest about a change of political philosophy requiring smaller government - this would have worked too. But using the credit crisis to achieve political objectives this will not work.

They may achieve the political objectives but their focus is wrong for dealing with the crisis - they will employ the wrong tools, use the wrong strategies. I cannot help but think that the strike is somewhat irrelevant to this main event but that the things the unions are fighting for cannot be saved without convincing the politicians that there is a better way. But what is this better way?.> CM

Another WWWeb -media business making fast and loose with our personal information - when will it end?

Facebook has been under investigation by the US  Federal Trade Commission for deceit related to personal data and privacy and has agreed to stop deceptive privacy practices, committed to not making false claims and will submit to independent audits for 20 years.

Facebook, holds personal information on some 800 million users and has often been criticized for its attitude to personal privacy and practices with the personal data of its members.

The FTC claim Facebook repeatedly made claims that were untrue providing the example that the company promises users it will not share thier personal information with advertisers while doing exactly that. In addition they say the popular social network does not inform its users about changes that potentially harm them such as the changes in 2009 that made information that users had specifically designated as private, such as their "Friends List," public.

Under the settlement, Facebook is prevented from being deceptive in the future about how it uses customers' personal information, and is required to get permission from customers before changing how this information information is shared.

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's founder and chief executive, has blogged that he is "committed to making Facebook the leader in transparency and control around privacy."

It has agreed – but can it deliver? If it starts being honest to us it will be at a commercial disadvantage so the temptations will always be to act in the dark and then act surprised that people mind. We need some better law around this>CM

Tough time and hard decisions ahead for Germany - welcome the club!

Europe is not a happy place and is far from being full of happy bunnies. What part should Germany play in fixing Europes problems.

Belgium saw its credit rating downgraded last week as the situation in Italy got worse. Both Italy and Spain are paying more for short-term funding than Greece whose intentions are a mystery worthy of Agatha Christie as none one really knows if their promises were empty or they stand poised for action.

Smaller countries like the Czech Republic continually asks questions like – “why am I , a little poor country by comparison, being asked to fund the rescue of this lot, who are richer than me but appear to be doing nothing to fix things except ask me to shoot myself in the foot for them”.

Add to this that Ireland and Portugal are well placed to be next to dive into the ditch of despair, the UK is said to be on the brink of a second recession, the US hovers on the sidelines worried that the death of the Eurozone will impct its own recovery while China, Brazil and other emerging super economies look on in amazement saying the local equivalent of what the hell is going on over there!

Thank Heavens France and Germany are going to sort it all out!

Or are they – they cannot agree on what to do to save their world and the scariest news fell out of Germany last week when the government bond auction failed, raising but 60% of what it needed. Some spin this pointing to special circumstances and unique technical issues in order that we do not regard this as a true picture of Germanys creditworthiness). But the true picture may be worse. T

he true picture may be that in the inertia created by trying to remain apart from, but close to, these issues Germany is standing too close to the fire and could get burnt. This is not the time for indecision, navel gazing or wishing things were different this is a time for action and the consequences of not acting are dire for all concerned.

Of course, as the Eurozones largest economy, Germany is already involved in the debt crisis. It is coming under increasing pressure to employ its financial muscle to save the euro which in practice means increased European integration which has to, at this point in time, be bankrolled by Germany. Germany, however, appears to be trying to create a little distance between it and the problems, creating a gap in the vain hope that a White Knight will sweep in so Germany does not bear so much of the cost themselves.

Is this a valid desire! Germany has, more than any other country, benefitted from monetary union and if the Euro fell over Germany would suffer so it might be right to shoulder the lion’s share of this burden in this time of crisis The problem is that Germany is well aware that salvaging Europe will require a dragons hoard of Euros with large amounts of this coming out of German pockets particularly where they pay the lions share of measures that allow weak economies to borrow cheap while they must pay more for the same. This will distort the market terribly often to Germany’s disbenefit. German business will suffer and there is an element that this approach bites the hand used to feed it.

So Germany appears dammed if it does and dammed if it doesn’t and the fate of the eurozone hangs in this balance. It will live only if Germany steps up to bite the bullet and stops wishing that Brussels and the rest of the world will step in to help. Germany will suffer whatever happens – it will be hurt, no one should envy the decisions Angela Merkel has to take. But the rest of the world will not help as much as Germany wants.

Those that care, like the UK, are already hurting. Those that only care about the impacts like the US will seek to minimise the damage to their economy and throwing cash at Europe is not considered viable strategy to achieve this. The Chinese and others with currently strong economies would not help on a way that hurt them – they do not risk their soverign wealth except to benefit themselves and the strings that would be attached may feel acceptable now but would likely not in the future- best not to harm our relationships with these emerging supereconomies – let them emerge as our equals not as our owners.

So Germany in general and Angela in particular are going to have to be brave either way. Cork Monkey salutes them and wishes them well.CM

Mobile catches fire on Plane

An Apple iPhone apparently caught fire during a flight and had to be extinguished by the crew.  

A small Australian Airline, Regional Airways, reported that the phone started smoking and glowed red shortly after the plane landed in Sydney on Friday. Fast thinking flight attendants extinguished the phone using water.

No cause for Alarm!

"We have no previous records of iPhones undergoing spontaneous self-ignition," a spokesman for the Australian Transport and Safety Bureau (ATSB) told AFP news agency.

Apple will be working with investigators to determine the cause. CM

Marmite - You either love it or hate it (:- (|)

M1 moterway closed after ‘Marmite’  coats the Tarmac

A tanker, reported to be carrying more than 20 tonnes of yeast extract, collided with a caravan and overturned on the UK's M1 Motorway spilling its contents at around 10 pm (GMT) Monday night.

The tanker driver was taken to hospital although his injuries are not believed to be serious however the cleanup operation will take a little longer. The Highways Agency said it hoped the road would reopen at about 10:00 GMT.

Anyone travelling to work at 08:00 can expect delays, will be late for work and so really will be in the brown sticky stuff.

CM

It’s the start of the Christmas Scamming season

Fun Loving Criminals greatest Hits – the new popular download from I tunes

No not the popular music group but cyber criminals are targeting internet users with a new gift certificate scam, according to security experts. Targets receive an email that claims to be from Apple's iTunes store but the file attached contains malware that may allow hackers to gain access to the recipient's computer.

Eleven –security blog says the attack appears to have been timed to coincide with Black Friday, one of the US's busiest shopping day now viewed by many retailers as the start of the Christmas shopping season. They mark the day with one-off discounts and other special offers which offer internet scammers a prime market as people may be expecting discount e vouchers at this time.

Users are told they have been sent $50/£32 of iTunes store credit and need to open an attached file to find out their certificate code. The file contains a malware program  which may facilitate access to Windows computers or capture passwords and other data.

The malware can be removed with good anti-spyware tools but best not to go there.

Phishing in Facebook

Security adviser Sophos are also warning of threat linked to Facebook. Users may receive an email claiming that they have violated policy regulations by annoying or insulting other members. This email contains a link which takes users to a web page that will deliver a fake "Facebook Account Disabled" form.

The firm says that members are then asked to fill in a series of forms requesting their login details, country of residence and the first six digits of their credit card number. If the users refuse they are told their account will be blocked automatically. If you enter the information you will be putting this information in the hands of the scammers.

Ask yourself would you give Facebook your credit card details anyway , No then don’t now! Facebook will not ask youfor this information.

OK not everyone will fall for this but still be careful - Sophos have not said this as far as I know ( and they know far more than this poor chimp) but your caring sharing Cork Monkey would be surprised if this webpage did not contain one or two more dangerous links to catch those to clever to input their credit card details – links to key-logging software perhaps.

Not on Facebook –no worries Cork Monkey knows other sites are targeted – just be safe out there Christmas will be expensive enough this year without giving your hard – earned to these guys.

CM

Can an incestuous relationship ever be consensual?

A Father is charged with 28 counts of rape but claims his daughter consented. Does it matter?

The man, named in German media only as Adolf B, 69 has admitted incest but insisted his daughter asked him for sex when she was 16 or 17 years old. Consequently he does not understand why she why she is accusing him of rape.

His 46 year old daughter claims her father first raped her when she was about 12, and then continued to abuse her for thirty years while they were living with the woman’s mother and siblings in Willmersbach, a village near Nuremberg. She had three children during that time, one died as an infant and another died recently.

The state prosecutor can only charge him with rapes from the last 20 years, since the statute of limitations has expired for earlier offences. Only 28 counts of incest can be lodged because its statute of limitations is five years however the number of sexual encounters is estimated at 500.

The Cork Monkey finds the defence incredible. Presumably in the man’s moral code incest is OK but rape is abhorrent and this is the way he can live with his behaviour. But lets take a trip to reality street. Whether she was seventeen or twelve, or if she asked for it or not is completely irrelevant. She was his daughter, she looked to him to protect her from such violence and he abused everything a father is. An incestuous relationship can never be consensual and children that young or vulnarable, who understand little of the world and who love their parents unconditionally need careful guidance if they make such offers. Anything else is taking advanage of thier naivete and unworthy of the love that prompted the offer.

He did take advantage and now faces up to 15  years in prison. Perhaps he will meet a large angry chap called Betty and will find himself consenting to sex at the end of a kicking. Then he will say " aaaaah now I understand"! 

CM

Is Facebook two faced ? It is certainly the future.

Facebook offers something new to your marketing mix…until an American Company is given your page and Facebook refuses to talk about it. Are they inept, rude or complicit in supporting US based companies at the expense of those of other countries or have we all misjudged how important this is and not allocated adequate resources to sorting out or social medias?

It is being reported that The German pharmaceuticals company Merck KGaA has been forced to take legal action against the social media giant Facebook after discovering what is described as the "the apparent takeover of its Facebook page". The webpage currently appears to be being used  by the firms American rival Merck & Co.

Merck KGaA's lawyer claims to have sent a letters and emails to a number of Facebook employees and agents but describes the responses as inert at best and possibly obstructive and adds that requests for a telephone conversation have been met with the assertion that nobody from Facebook is available.

Merck KGaA said in 2010 entered into an agreement with Facebook for the exclusive rights to www.facebook.com/merck and had been given access to the  administrative rights to the page but on 11 October this year it discovered that content on the site now belonged to Merck & Co of the US who are proud to boast the American Diabetes Association and the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation as their Facebook friends.

Merck KGaA say they have taken legal action to ask Facebook for information however a BBC reporter may have found that the court filing notes also contain more commercial elements around loss of earnings and contractual issues.

Facebook have not commented except to say "We are looking into this."

Social Media Marketing

Cork Monkey Is aware that marketing experts are increasingly having to account for social media as part of their marketing mix and increasingly see social media pages as much a part of their brand as their trademark, logo or letterhead.

Increasingly there are customers (not necessarily in this case) whose life is more or less online and who do not watch TV or read magazines in the same way as the previous generation and social media is a way of accessing these customers who are often on Facebook," for their own purposes making it a great meeting space for organisations ranging from Giants like McDonalds  to local concerns like Bay Traditional Sweets (local to NW England) where they can meet their public (Cork Monkey is not yet on Facebook – do you think we should be? what would it add?)

Is there something more sinister going on? America is quick to condemn the Chinese Patenting system– who, they say, put sovereign interests before good practice – slowing down the patents of American companies and effectively allowing Chinese companies to progress the same patent faster which they (the US companies) say effectively steals the patent.

Is this not the same principle.  Non US companies – despite the much lauded free market find the market is freer for some than for others especially where it becomes necessary to engage with the expensive US legal system simply to conduct business.

Note that this is not a critique of the US as such Cork Monkey is sure that US domestic small business finds the dice equally loaded against them in a system that favours the a particular size and structure of business (some of which may be foreign owned but that are in a position to play by American Rules).

What the answer is to this is I do not know, I am sure both companies and Facebook have all acted with honour but an error has been made somewhere and it will take some fixing. However the wider issues are interestting and Cork Monkey will be following them. 

Social Media is now deeply embedded in both our business and our personal lives and there is the potential for these to become blurred .  Cork Monkey is very interested in this. Does it matter? Can it harm us? What are the benefits? There are a number of questions around this – what do you think? Comments by the usual route.

CM

Are white people disadvantaged or is this racist thinking?

In the UK White working Class are described as disenfranchised. The  British National Party and other nutty political parties are on the rise – is this political extremism or are people simply fed up with being ignored?

The BBC will report that senior politicians fear the rise of political extremism because white working class people are feeling ignored, that no one is speaking or working for them and that the only qualification needed to be ahead of them in the queue is not to be white working class.

They anchor these beliefs in irrational fears about immigration and the associated impact upon jobs and other resources. They also reference a report that points to a mistaken belief that resources are not allocated fairly implying that the belief is not reflected in reality.

Backwards Thinking 

This would appear to be a reversal of the usual position where reports that Black people (or women or gay people or those who may be disabled) of any class who report feeling discriminated against are taken at face value – there is little talk of 'perception' on these occasions and usually a commitmment to act.

Why is it that any hint that white people do not like being discriminated is rebranded as racism or extremism and something rather nasty- we never hear of non white racist groups (with the possible exception of anti-Semitic Muslims but interestingly the chaps who blow up airplanes and buses are not considered racist).

Now let me be clear the Cork Monkey has no time for racists,  extremism or any of that ilk but does note the rise in popularity of groups like the British National Party and sees this not as an increase in racist thinking but that this may well be because the establishment treat any concern over the loss of resources ( justified or not) by white people as a racist outcry. If you treat them like this where else can they go?

CM  

Round your way - Australia

Could this be true - I am not sure (it sounds like a cross between a joke and an urban legend) - but it is a good story! CM

It has been reported that the Australian Police are aware of an excellent scam but are unable to get to a prosecution. The scam works like this:-

An advert appears in the press claiming to import superfilthy quadruple X rated hardcore adult films at a more than reasonable price.

A bunch of horny people reach for their wallets and the cheques are cashed with money disappearing from the account as expected. After a little while the company writes back saying very sorry -  under current Oz law the films are just too bizarre and hardcore for Australian release and as a law abiding company they cannot engage in illegal activity but please find enclosed a cheque for the full amount you have paid.

The scam is that the cheques are in a name like "Desperate Gay Bitch Anal Sex and Shit Eating Fetish Perversion Company" and no one will cash them for fear the wife will find out etc.

CM

Russia and China Probe the Final Frontier

Hope is rekindled for the Russian and Chinese Mars Missions as contact is re-established with their ill fated probe. Can the problems be resolved in time or will these missions be aborted.

The European Space Agency (ESA) has at last received signals from the missing Phobos – Grunt Probe which is supposed to be on a mission to Mars but has, in fact, been stuck in an Earth orbit since its launch on the 9^th November.

ESA Engineers are working with their Russian counterparts to see how best to maintain communications with the spacecraft which is unable to fire the engines that will propel it towards Mars.

Phobos – Grunt was built to land on the Martian moon Phobos, collect rock samples and bring them back to earth for detailed examination that will provide evidence as to the origins of the Martian satellite.

The race against time!

The contact has provided fresh hope that the mission can proceed but only if scientists can diagnose the faults and either fix it or work round them within the remaining time window within which Mars remains in range of the probe.  

If they are unable to fix it and Mars moves out of range the flight will fail not only fail to achieve its own misson objectives. China’s Martian satellite Yinghuo – 1is piggy backing on the main spacecraft. CM

Round Your way – Schifferstadt Germany

Deutschland Doctors Dirty Deeds. In an event stranger than the opening scenes of the hand that Rocks the Cradle a German gynaecologist has been collecting snaps of his patients – the question is why?

A doctor's practice in the town of Schifferstadt in Germany has been closed after a perverted gynaecologist was accused of secretly taking photos of female patients during intimate examinations. As many as 3,000 unsuspecting women may have been photographed by the crazy quack and his hidden camera although, at present, only 700 have agreed with the prosecutor to press charges.

The middle aged gynaecologist could face a year in prison if convicted however it is uncertain if the current law, which was intended to deal with incidents on a much smaller scale, is sufficient to deal with more than 35,000 photographs of an assumed 3000 women.

These numbers are estimates and it is anticipated that this could be a difficult and protracted case as investigators attempt to get to grips with the evidence and determine exactly how many women are involved, how long it has been going on and why the dirty doctor did this.

CM

Cupcake Craziness - how the internet can ruin your business!

Cupcake creator Rachel Brown was sure her decorated cupcakes were going to be popular. She just didn’t realise how popular.

Small business owner Rachel Brown decided to drum up trade with a online deal and found herself deluged and her profits for the year gone!

The nightmare started when she used money-saving website Groupon offering their subscribers a 75 per cent discount on a dozen cakes selling twelve for £6.50 instead of the usual £26.

She found herself inundated with orders as cupcake loving punters saw a chance to have their cake and eat it. Mrs Brown, who normally makes 100 cupcakes a month, found herself having to bake a over 100,000 and because of her ‘deal’ reportedly make a loss of £2.50 on every order.

A bad businesswoman? Not a bit of it.  Cork Monkey is pleased to see that that she tried to meet this surge in demand, was worried about her companies reputation and how quality would be affected by using new staff.  A company run by a board of accountants may have walked away, or if contractually unable to do that, bought in cheaper product in order to remain in the black.  I applaud this attitude so if you feel a need for cake visit Need-A-Cake and help her get out of the red.

Please note this is just a link to the cupcake site I have no financial or personal relationship with Mrs Brown and am not advertising  for her - its just here if you want it.

CM (:- (|)

Is Mario wearing digital fur in a computer game - a crime against animals?

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)are now campaigning against digital fur. Is this animal rights or barking?

Whether you regard them as bonkers, boring or saviours of the world Animal rights people have always commanded some respect in that while many people might not agree with them but can at least understand their logic when viewed from their perspective which would be, I think, ‘We think hurting animals is wrong, fur hurts animals and therefore fur is wrong’.  Love it or lump it you can at least understand it.

Some will say they have strayed from the straight and narrow path along the moral high ground when they get involved in kidnapping/ liberating and explosions.  By the time we get to the killing and poisoning most normal people will agree that they have lost the plot.

This time they seem to have lost more than the plot. They have lost the whole damn garden.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are complaining that the video game character Mario wears fur in his new Nintendo game, Super Mario 3D land. In this game, it is alleged, he wears a ‘Tanooki Suit’ which grants Mario special powers and privileges.

According to PETA Tanuki are racoon dogs that are skinned alive for their fur (Cork Monkey has been unable to confirm this particular fact ) and their view is that by wearing fur Mario is sending a message that it is OK to wear Fur.

Nintendo disagree pointing out that while Mario has a number of tools and incarnations including those based upon animals that there is no statement being made beyond the reality of the game.

CorkMonkey is appreciative of those trying to save those fully entitled to fur but, no Tanookis were harmed in the making of this video game, and taking PETAs logic further we could eat a ham sandwich on the telly (because it is not right to eat meat) or be attacked by killer tomatoes in a game in case it made people frightened of vegetables. 

Never ones to let the grass grow under their feet PETA have reportedly released their own game where skinned raccoons chase Mario in a bid to reclaim their fur.

CM (:- (|)

Round Your Way - Location ACCRA, GHANA

MANAGING DIRECTOR OF PEE COLA IN HOT WATER! 

Seven people, including Mr Haren Patel the Managing Director of Pee Cola Limited, were arrested last Thursday following an assault upon residents of Agbogloshie, near the Accra Brewery.

Yes it is a real brand!

The police arrested an unlikely gang whose ages ranged between 20 and 55 years but were found to be in possession of two pistols, live ammunition and knives.They claimed to have been employed by Mr Patel to protect an area of land whose ownership was disputed.

The gang interpreted this protection as the need to scare people by any means possible and where that did not work by attacking and harrassing anyone on or near the disputed area. They found and and attacked twenty seven year old Andrews Cobbina, a car parts dealer at Abossey Okai, who was returning from work. Mr Cobbina, has been admitted to the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital in Accra, with cutlass wounds following the assaults on him by Patel’s thugs.

Cork Monkey has heard of people who conduct 'business' like this. None of them honest, of course Cork Monkey does not know the facts of this case or the lengths one has to go to protect property but it is a fun story.

CM GHANA CORRESPONDANT

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CM (:- (|) In association with CM Food for Thought
 

Is that the Matterhorn then! Naked Hiking in the Alps

The highest Court in Switzerland's highest court rules authorities can impose fines on people who decide to hike naked in the Alps.

This is becoming quite a problem as wandering about an Alp in the buff is becoming increasingly popular by those seeking a particular kind of freedom and no sense or personal modesty.

The federal court threw out the appeal by a man fined 100 Swiss francs (£69; $109) for strolling past a family picnic area in all his glory, his balls jingling in the breeze and his best friend slapping against his thigh. The man was fined for walking bare-arsed (although it was not his arse that was the problem) past a family with small children who were using the picnic area and a Christian rehabilitation centre for drug users in Appenzell. He was naked as a baby and showing far more of Gods creation than one really wants to see in the flesh.

Switzerland does not have a law against public nudity it does have one against public indecency.

Judges felt the region of Appenzell had been entitled to uphold a law on public decency which they understood to be tension with desire to wander about in your birthday suit but against which it needed to be balanced.

They concluded that a prohibition on naked hiking was only a minor infringement on personal liberties when stacked against the right for you not to have to explain to your children why they have had an eyeful of an old mans scrotum.

This man has only got himself to blame. If he had kept to the areas where this has gone on for years but there is either no-one to see or no-one who cares he would have been fine.

But he had to force others to participate, a common problem with the mainland european naturist - they want to force the world into seeing them naked in the supermarket for no good reason. 

This kind of person has a firm view of their own freedom and little regard for everyone elses seeing little more than a world stopping them from doing as they please and not recognising that freedom for the rest of the world includes not having an unexpected eyeful at a picnic and then having to explain stuff to your kids when you should be tucking in to your frankfurters and pickled onions.

CM (:-(|)

Sticking to his guns, London Mayor defends his approach to pollution.

A recipe for sucess or cooking the books, is the London Mayors approach to pollution working.

Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London has had a spiffing wheeze or so reports his chums at the BBC.

Lorries are spraying a sticky solution on roads with a poor pollution record in the hope that the pollution in the air will stick to the road. Between midnight and six in the morning roads are swept and washed before a mixture of of calcium and water is applied. The tiny sooty pollution particles embed in the mixture and are no longer an airborne health hazard.

It is reported that the following areas receive this treatment

• Victoria Embankment / Upper Thames St
• Marylebone / Euston Road
• Park Lane
• Earls Court
• A2 Old Kent Rd, New Cross Rd and Blackheath Rd
• Blackwall tunnel corridor approaches
• Mercury Way, Lewisham

Sounds Good!

But not everyone is convinced this works while others question the scale and the use of these particular roads accusing Boris of trying to cook the environmental record books.

Professor Frank Kelly of King's College London is a recognised expert on the impact of atmospheric pollution on health. He feels this approach “does not deal with the problem at source”, because the moment spraying stops, problems re- emerge.

Green critics are saying this is a sop and is not designed reduce pollution per se but to avoid fines for failing to comply with EU air quality standards (earlier this year air pollution in London hit its highest level since 2003).

The Greens claim its no coincidence that the air monitoring station used to report to the European Commission is on one of the routes being sprayed reportedly saying."They are cheating, making it look as if targets are being met when they are not with the use of this road glue," and "Pollution is a problem all over London not just in a few streets."

However bicycling Boris Johnson agrees that while the source problem (lots of polluting cars) remains, this approach means the targeted pollutions cannot become a health issue as they can no longer be breathed in "And that means it is reducing pollution - unless you bend over get down on all fours and snort it" was a typically Boris rebuttal of this argument earlier in the year.

While the Greens may have their hearts in the right place with regards to a more universal solution, Cork Monkey is not sure that the argument about placement is sound. To the mind of a Cork Monkey it is logical that when one needs to do something and also check that it is working, you should do it near monitors that give you this information and the Cork Monkey pilot would also be in the worst pollution areas in order to do the most good, soonest.  There is no point in doing this in the middle of a leafy shire, with good air quality and no monitors to be honest. Bear in mind that the Greens are Boris’s political rivals to keep their arguments in perspective.

The truth is that London has too many trains planes and automobiles, too much construction, too many factories and too many people to also have clean air. You either deal with this human activity or deal the results of it. London is a good place to live work and do business and people keep coming. Boris has to deal with the results side of the equation and so will the Greens even when they start dismantling London to make it a pollution free zone (which if not part of a national strategy will harm the capital greatly).

But by and large all are working for the good of the people – and hopefully it is pollution that will come to a sticky end not London.

CM